A few days ago my master and I celebrated our eight-year anniversary.
(Side note: Celebrated is putting it a bit strongly; we got high, consumed an entire cheesecake and engaged in a few hours worth of amorous activities)
What I am about to say will most likely sound preachy or patronizing or possibly conceited but I am going to to say it anyway because all these years of happiness have made me want to share the love.
So here’s the buzzfeed-inspired “8 things I learnt from 8 years of love”
If the grass looks greener on the other side, it probably is.
If you don’t want to be in a relationship or in the relationship that you are, no one can make you.
Don’t do what you don’t want to do.
We parted ways too for a while in between, and the reason I count that time apart as part of our relationship is because it was crucial to it.
No one, not even your “soul sister” is going to understand your relationship.
Expecting that is like expecting everyone (or anyone) to be able to understand any language. If you want financial advice, go to an investment banker. If you want career advice, go to your mentor.
You are the expert on your relationship, what you think is right is probably right.
Relationships are not hard. Nope.
I really believe that relationships and love seem hard only when we pretend to be someone else (or conceal ourselves) at the beginning and then cannot spend our entire lives being someone else.
Either pretend to be someone else, morph into that personality and be happy or (the far easier option) just be yourself because you’re probably amazing.
All the tears, fighting, conflicts are part of your relationship too, appreciate their beauty.
We all get angry, irrational and make mistakes. Enjoy your fights. Enjoy your conflicts; someone will lead, someone will follow and even if you don’t reach a resolution, the ride can be very revealing.
(We used to fight a lot when we were a lot younger, like animals, and that is how I discovered all his extremely-attractive rage. Now, when we fight, we mostly just end up laughing)
Sex (whatever your version of it is) is art.
People who are not sexually compatible have no business being together. *Bracing for hate-mail*
If isn’t getting better with age and experience, you’re doing it wrong.
It just gets finer and finer the longer you’ve been doing it, till the point where you don’t even have to look at each other to communicate exactly what you want.
Our bodies are designed for pleasure, so much pleasure that one lifetime is not enough to experience it all.
It’s not what you said, what you did not say is where all the stench is coming from.
I am most definitely an advocate of brutal honesty so when it doubt always choose to speak your conflicted-mind.
I am not my actions, I am not my words, I am my thoughts.
(Side quote: Jonathan Livingston Seagull: The entire body is thought itself)
If you are thinking something, you are that person, you will not be able to happily hide that forever. Display your weaknesses and every horrid (and wonderful or even banal) thought, that is who you are too.
Love is decadence. My life is complete not wonderful without it.
Love is rare, there might be someone for everyone but the odds of finding them and being able to expose your true self to them are not stacked in the favour of love.
It’s too huge a risk to wait for love to “complete” you so fill your life with things you love and with hunger and passion and great work.
Happiness is all there is, and you’re the only one who can speak for yours.
I would not dare argue against the fact that some people revel in misery and macabre, but I am comfortable assuming that is their happy place. I am not one to define happiness for the whole world, but if you don’t feel it, you know it.
It is worth pursuing.