This is what I mean by orgasm denial:
– A person separate from yourself is controlling your orgasms. (It could apply to self control, though)
– Sexual activity could be restricted, but with me it usually isn’t. Touching without instruction too could be restricted.
(Note: Personal experience, not to moralize or discount anyone else’s experience, another redundant clarification that I am being politically correct)
Day 3 or “I wish I wasn’t this aware of it”
Even if I’ve done it many times before, every time I start refraining from orgasms again it’s new and exciting. It’s all I can think about, and that just makes me even more aroused.
Every interaction with him is like a reminder of what’s going on in my pants.
It’s just sexual energy starting to build up but I want to play with it, prematurely.
1 Week or “Maybe I’d be better off if I just sneaked one…”
There’s an interesting kind of fire inside me by this point, it is unpredictable. I will begin to notice all these little pockets of time that could have been utilized taking care of “business”. I will try to find ways to get beaten (or fucked) extra hard sometimes just to quell the rage inside me. I will fight him and taunt him and do anything that may provoke him to satisfy the masochist if no one else. Then when I’m all alone and defeated, I’ll think..very quietly..would he really know if I took care of myself real quick?
(Do not indulge every whim, idiot)
3 Weeks or “It cannot be biologically possible for me to be this wet”
This is perhaps the worst phase. The best description of myself I can give from it is that I am a pathetic, pitiful creature unable to fulfill the one desire that consumes me.
Shamelessness is what I associate with it. I believe all professionals whose jobs require them to display themselves (quite literally) are being able to do so only because they are in this phase (ha!).
This kind of arousal makes me so confident, there’s nothing I wont do or say.
1 Month or “I can’t believe you made me do that”
You know that depraved animal that people say exists in all of us?
This is how you find it.
By this point, my will is broken, I understand the only path to glory is subservience. In fact, I am enthusiastic about the path, this is the point where I can be convinced I can erotically enjoy a-n-y-t-h-i-n-g.
2 Months or “I have a faint itch, what if I didn’t scratch it…”
By this point I have entered an environment of natural subservience and expertise at channeling my sexual energy into more elaborate and often productive endeavors.
I will not deny that sometimes the desire to have an orgasm that promises to be earth-shattering is compelling but the taste of the world where I don’t succumb to the desire for pleasure will always succeed in holding me back.
3 Months or “You there, sipping your drink, you’re on the wrong path to inebriation”
Imagine being able to regard every thing in the whole world with the same outlook you apply to sex, sexuality and sexual relations. You do everything to win, no one crosses you, you’re good at it all and everything is under control. There’s nothing you cant handle.
I’m a queen (until I’m his dirty little animal) by the time I hit this point.
I feel light as a feather, floating and flying on a sea of chaotic relaxation. Nothing gets in my way. I have won.
1 second after The Big O or “You killed my baby, you miserable sadist”