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30 Days of Kink: Day 21

List your favorite BDSM books.

No, I will not.
There will be no list. And incidentally the book I intend to talk about has nothing to do with BDSM but easily qualifies as kink.
Surprise, surprise: Lolita.

Only twice in my life have I been compelled purely by the writing and structure of a story to just keep on reading. The other time was when I read Chronicles of a Death Foretold.
Vladimir Nabokov is a true artist, his assumption (or not) of the role of a pedophile was not only convincing but almost, romantic and pitiable at the same time.
There was honesty in those words, and heart.

The characters as well are deep yet mysterious.
Humbert’s single-minded obsession and his dedication to it is eerie and at the same time I wonder how it would feel to be so immersed in something that everything you do is a function of that.
And his reverence of Lolita, is equal only to his reverence of himself.
He is sophisticated and “intellectual” yet if his truth was widely known he would be categorized as “the scum of the earth”.
But for all he his, his self-loathing lurks closely in the backdrop.
And after pages on pages of his declarations of love for Lolita, I still found myself wondering, was it just perhaps an obsessive lust?

Lolita, at least what we know of her through the eyes of Humbert, transforms from a nymphet to an aggressor to a victim and then to a pregnant 17-year old.
I often question if Lolita as we know her even exists, it is only fair to assume that Humbert’s vision of her may be glorified, doctored or just misread.
She could be just the creation of a mind deeply disturbed by the desires of the body.
Humbert, I was often reminded, was not as dedicated to her as he was to age she was at. He considered her an average American girl who by virtue of her traits he had classified for the period of a few years as a nymphet.
She ends up a stereotype, a cautionary-tale, a tragic reminder of the dark side.
For all her glory through the eyes of Humbert, her image remains only a shadow of the beautiful words she inspired.

And then there is the question I struggle to answer, was Lolita a victim?
She was never portrayed as pure, and from the one account we have, she seems to have initiated the first sexual encounter.
That being said, she was a child when she did so.
Yet the term child doesn’t seem to fit her either, not just because of her advancing sexual development but also because she already possessed the shallowness that children do not acquire until they understand the true meaning of materialism.
Also,she doesn’t run away until much later, despite having ample opportunity to do so.
At certain points in the story it seems like they both know that he has ruined her life, but at others she seems to manipulate and even enjoy playing the victim.

The book offers more questions than it does answers and that is why I love it.


About ancilla9876

I'm a young, female, Indian submissive and masochist. I am many other things, of course. But this blog mostly deals with the contents of my lede sentence.

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