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30 Days of Kink: Day 3

How did you discover that you were kinky?

Click here for Day 2

First, I discovered that I was a deviant. This was back when I didn’t understand kinky because “children” don’t have sexual inclinations, not overt ones anyway.
The first time I noticed I was acting really strange was when I knocked down a vase in the house (completely on purpose) and then followed my mother around the house to get her to notice and get mad and beat me up. I was, maybe six, at the time. I remember being in a haze, unable to control my actions because I wanted what I wanted. Needed, rather.

The real discovery of deviance came when I was nine and I saw my father beat my mother, I had seen him strike her many many times but never the way he did then, she started to bleed and he was raging.. I was sitting on the floor and just watching, i sat there for hours after they were done, I was reliving every thing I had just seen just with me in it, and a man besides my father.
I had dreams about it. I would wake up feverish and aching, unable to understand what I was really feeling.

I discovered I was kinky when I had my first orgasm.. I was twelve. I had accidentally masturbated. Right after my body started to contort, I wanted to be slapped violently. At the time, I did it to myself.
The “real” discovery moment came when I was fourteen years old.. By now I knew I might be stunted in some ways. I was seeing a much older man (every time i would meet a new man, I would decide if I wanted to be with him based on his answer to the question, “Would you hit/beat a woman?”), and I had driven him insane. Late night calls, breaking into his house, insane intense professions of love.. eventually, he lost it and he beat me. He walked out, and I sat in laughed for hours.
I was pretty freaked out by myself .
However, by the following morning, I was in love.. with myself.

Click here for day 4.


About ancilla9876

I'm a young, female, Indian submissive and masochist. I am many other things, of course. But this blog mostly deals with the contents of my lede sentence.

5 responses to “30 Days of Kink: Day 3

  1. Pingback: 30 Days of Kink: Day 2 | Genetically Enslaved

  2. writingthebody ⋅

    Yes it is funny how we discover our bodies….and there are no rule…yes, the pain and the masturbation mixed up, that is me too….

  3. Pingback: 30 Days of Kink: Day 4 | Genetically Enslaved

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