For months, I have been in an agonized state. One where orgasms were the forbidden world and arousal was quiet rebellion. The tide has turned yet instead of experiencing the best orgasm of my life, I experienced grave disappointment. I cannot deny that physically, the orgasm was explosive and long by any objective standard, but even in the moment I found myself resisting it strongly.
In the past 57 days, I experienced arousal and intimacy as I never have before. Every touch was significant and had the potential to achieve a violent reaction. Sex was more enjoyable than penetration with multiple orgasms. Things as mundane as licking his feet had the power to make me edge. Just hearing certain words in day-to-day conversation made electrical jolts flow through my toes and fingers.
Also, I have never been as focused on my work as I was in the past few weeks. I could spend day and night, awake and working. (In all fairness, I often spend many many hours working). It took all my strength to fight the arousal and focus on my work but the concentration and dedication I achieved were so strong, they was unshakable.
I tend to delve into things a tad too deeply, but never as deep as I have recently.
But now I have seem to lost my superpower. It has made me consider renouncing orgasms forever. Or maybe for longer each time.
From experience, however, I feel it is hard to delve right back into orgasm denial when you’ve just gotten out.