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That Look.

Last night, when I was all tied up, on my knees, leash in place and he was taking disgusting pictures (literally disgusting, designed to make me look as terrible as possible) of me; I happened to glance at his face (usually, I look at his feet). He had this expression: one that can be described as an amalgamation of a child’s longing glace at unattainable candy, a pervert’s distant admiration of an oddity, a stalker’s careful observation of his obsession and a serial killer’s face right before he makes the first incision.
It was such a familiar expression that I never bothered to deconstruct it before.

After four hours in copy editing class thinking about his face instead of the correct usage of hyphens, I find that I am extremely honoured to be the recipient of that look.
(I also find that that it should not take four hours to teach or learn the correct usage of hyphens).
I often feel as if he gives me a world of pleasure and joy yet I am unable to give him that.
i really don’t feel that anymore.
Why would he look at me with such satisfaction, perversion and morbidity if he hadn’t found the joy in me that I’d found in him.

I feel happy.


About ancilla9876

I'm a young, female, Indian submissive and masochist. I am many other things, of course. But this blog mostly deals with the contents of my lede sentence.

2 responses to “That Look.

  1. Faile

    Oh I know the feeling behind such a look. The desire to love, to admire, to observe, to hurt, in equal measure and inseparable. It is a joy.
    I’m glad you enjoyed seeing it. I sometimes think submissives can easily miss out on knowing what a delight they are to their Dom/mes.


  2. I think that is true.
    But i often feel Dom/mes design it that way.
    Not knowing what a delight I am to him makes me do more and more to make him happy. Then i feel even happier when I still feel worthless.
    But sometimes, it’s nice to know I make him happy.

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